I live for stupid crap like this

By: Unknown on 15:25

So last night at the Armored Gopher we were playing a third session of the Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG.  The party was descending this big spiral staircase somewhere under the Tower of Zenopus when some stirges flew down and started harassing them.  Eustace the Bold uses a Mighty Deed of Arm (which I use as an ad lib stunt system, ignoring the details in the GM section) to swat one to the ground with his shield.  The beggar-thief and the cleric of Cthulhu try stomping on its head, but both roll miserably, bumping into each other in their haste to kill the prone bird-bat-mosquito thing.  On the next round the stirge gets up and attacks the cleric, rolling a crit.   I don't know if it was my idea or not, but I will totally take the blame for this next part: the cleric now has a stirge jammed in his crotch, sucking out his, and I quote, "dick blood".  The stirge in question is killed on the next round and gingerly removed from the area in question.

The proboscis-to-jimmy attack ended up only doing a single measly point of damage, but I doubt I'll ever forget that particular one point.  That cleric won't either, I reckon.